If My Heart Could Heal...

If My Heart Could Heal...

I haven’t been on here in a while. I guess that’s because I healed. Thank you page for being my safe space during my dark period. In the end, all I can end with things on here is to wish that he is doing well and I wish him the best. I went through my own recovery, and my grass is now green on my side and things feel pretty damn amazing. Little memories still sting and make me sad, but I know the friendship was worth it. I’m still sober and I can only continue to look forward to my path in life. But for now this is where my journey ends for this chapter in my life. #END

It took a lot, but thank you for breaking me to the point where I learned to finally value myself; because I can now finally let go 💗

Distance is my new response. I don’t return energy, I remove myself.

I am healing. I don’t miss you the way that I used to. I have been a huge mess for a whole month where I neglected myself, but now I am entering the other side where I see my grass becoming greener. You’ll miss me someday. You’ll miss everything I did for you and the smallest of things I did for you. But I am okay without you now. Still stings a little but my life is better off without you. One day I will be at a place where a person will show me the love I have always deserved to have. While things have been so fuckin lonely as I have been on my own, I’m at peace. While I’m sadden for the grieve of losing you, I am excited to see where my new journey takes me. One day I will be strong enough to be enough for myself and that’s when I feel I’ll meet the person I am meant to spend my life with. I deserve to be picked. I deserve to be with someone who broke their own cycle as I broke mine. I deserve someone who knows what they want and will never stop putting effort towards me. They won’t be perfect. And perfect isn’t what I strive for, but I want this person to be as real as life comes. I didn’t want to continue to be in your toxic cycle. And I will forever continue to wish you well and have that love for you, but my life is now moving on and soon, you will no longer matter. You are not meant to be in my life story. But for sure you were my favorite chapter. Now to have someone new enter my life. Perhaps, I’ll have another chapter one day that will end in “happily ever after”… 

If you have to choose between me and her, choose her. Because if you really loved me, there wouldn’t be any other choice.

OLD MINDSET: I’m a fuckin mess

NEW MINDSET: I’m a work in progress

someday, someone is going to walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anybody else 💗

everyone says love hurts, but that’s not true. loneliness hurts. rejection hurts. losing someone hurts. cheating hurts. envy hurts. jealously hurts. everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. true love is the only thing in this world that doesn’t hurt.

I’m finding myself becoming very angry. Good. Now use that anger at the gym and never look back.

Because at this point, death doesn’t even scare me anymore. I wish I had a purpose in this lifetime, but I’m sure one day I will find it.